And a angle appeared , and said do not be afraid go and finish your lifes work.

I saw myself for the first time today.

I saw myself for the first time today, and it was not very nice, i mean the person in the mirror was pretty scary mean and nasty, it was like looking at a stranger i did not recognise myself, which gave me a bit of a shock. It was just a second a tiny glimpse but it was enough, i thought about what Eckhart tolle had said that the light of the conscious mind on the sub conscious was all that was needed to free yourself from the deception. And i think he is right, hiding in the shadows the part of me that would cause all the trouble pulling the strings from the deep darkness within i saw his face today and its a new day for me. These moods that i have had for as long as i can remember i now know who was the maker, always staying under cover of darkness, a constant battle within myself sucking the life from me using my energy making me do things that i am ashamed of. No more can he hide, no more can he deceive me, no more can he ruin my life !  

The 12th Planet.

Just like the 12th planet i have this ball of negative energy that comes round on a regular basis, i should have realized that this time it was a big one, lasting just over 2 weeks, the first sign was i did not feel well, low energy i thought i was just tired or a cold was coming on, flu symptoms.By the 2nd week the ball of energy had completely enveloped me, my behavior was horrible, i could barely control my self. This leads me to the conclusion that because i was not doing my chakra cleansing morning and night i was exposed to a huge  amount  of negative energy. I think also that my job working in a nursery was affecting me too many people with too much energy. I am feeling much better today i have resumed my chakra cleansing and will try to do that morning and night.

Day 5

Not feeling that great, eyes still look a bit cloudy, energy is ok, mood  -10, looking for a job so that doesn't help. In fact if i was not looking for a job i probably would not be trying to stop drinking. All the reasons for stoping drinking seem to have dissapered today. In fact i can not be bothered doing anything. In fact i have lost all enthusiasm to do anything. Maybe i should stop drinking when i find a job. Dosen't seem to be any meaning to life today. I guess i must be depressed.

Right Energy Right Mind.

Connecting to the source first thing in the morning is very important right energy right mind.At night also very important to clear away todays energy. :-)

Connecting to the Light.

Finally i can see the light, for years i have been in the dark.Connecting to the light that is in all of us and around us keeping me sane and balanced.

A homeless father-of-three who refused to take down his family's campsite in the heart of 'Constable Country' has been jailed

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2237306/Father-moved-family-caravans-heart-Constable-country-JAILED-defying-court-order-demanding-removal.html

Conscious or Subconscious

No matter how hard i try, i keep going round and round and can't seem to break out of my behavior patterns. I am my own worst enemy. All i need to do is meditate twice a day, but i never do, i last for a few days then don't meditate for weeks. And then i am full of negative energy most of it not mine. Well at least i am wrtting this i will try harder to meditate twice a day.

Yours is not a small voice in the wilderness

Yours is not a small voice in the wilderness. You are not some minor player in the great game. You count for something. You make a difference. You matter. If you speak you will be heard. If you act, you will bring forth a positive and significant response. Your boldest, brightest, vision, is not some empty fantasy, it is a viable road map to an attainable future. Have some faith in this (and in yourself) this weekend. And if something really needs to be said, why should you not be the one to say it?

She Makes Me Smile.

May this day be the beging of many happy days, May happiness follow us both, And love be our guide, No more tears, Love each other until the end of time, As the sun sets in the evening, So it rises in the morning, We walk the path of true love, And never shall we part, Hand in Hand we walk the same path, This is a new day your day, This is a new way your way, I will follow you where ever you go.

Sacred space

There's a place i know
where i go
some where in my mind
A inner world of mine
And everything is fine
There's a place i go
Just inside my mind
Full of bright and wonderful colours
It's a world i know
But had forgotten
It shines and glitters
And never is it dark
In the centre of my mind
There is hope
There are dreams
There is happiness

Bad habits be they thinking one's or physical one's are god damn difficult to change! will power is something i seem to be short of, but being stubborn is one of my strong points, or is that being tenacious? Well it seems thats the way i get through the day most of the time, but i do realise that a tenacious nature can be my downfall being  inflexible can be the result of being stubborn.So my own nature can cause me to suffer.By being stubborn i often take the most difficult route. I am older now and this behavior is very annoying.So how can i change my very own nature?

Visualization

I just had a panic attack, horrible. As well as thinking negative i also visualize in the negative, i have constant negative day dreams or night mares. Which eventually cause me to panic. Which also means i am completely out of alignment. Its hard for me to know if i am thinking or visualizing. Crystals sounds like a good idea.

Clairsentient. can't switch off.

I am exhausted as usual, yesterday i had a busy day, coming into contact with many people. Grounding doesn't work for me protective shield doesn't work for me ether. There is only one way for me to stop feeling like this and that is to switch off my 6th sense, but i do not know how. When people talk to me i can not hear what they are saying because i am feeling everything they are saying. How can i stop listening how can i stop seeing. Is it the same?

Clairsentient.

Changing your habits is a very difficult processes indeed. And thats what i am doing at the moment. Staying in my space, and not being distracted by people's energy as they pass or get close to me. Not letting bad energy into my sacred space. This is making me very tired because i am constantly visualizing and changing my behavior, i'm sure this will get easier as time go's by. Soon it will just be like driving a car.

Body / Mind, Memory.

5 years with ME has left me with some very painful body and mind memories. At the moment i am looking for a job and it seems that my body/mind is trying to stop me by reliving past symptoms they feel very real. I can understand why this is happening i don't want to ever feel that way again.

That is way i must be careful not to put myself back in the sort of jobs that caused me great stress.

Wisdom.

Spiders web.

Its easy to fall back into old habits and friends, if you are feeling alone.But really its not worth it, the reasons that you decided to part company are probably still the same. Move on.

Chakra cleaning.

Chakras are our energy centres. They are the openings for life energy to flow into and out of our aura. I need to clean my Chakras every day if i don't i get very bad blockage. Symptoms are headache, cloudy head, can't concentrate, bad mood, short temper, apathy, all pretty negative.

Bad moods grumpy short temper.

No Alcohol................hic up!

I want to give up Alcohol.

In the alchemist the boy meets many people in his journey through life, these people have a special message to give him. I remember talking to a man in the swimming baths he said that he had given up drinking and it had stopped his depression, he was very fit for his age. He was a artist a painter. I always become depressed the day after drinking and it lasts for a few days. Not to mention my energy levels are so low as well.